I'm really good at embarrassing myself in front of celebrities part 2

Having a birthday in the 1980s has thankfully lead me to avert the current frenzy of Disney’s factory-produced, long-haired, skinny-jeans-clad trio the Jonas Brothers. I assumed that my graduation from high school immediately excluded me from hyperventilating at one sight of a young(ish) male with a musical instrument... Until last August.

One night, I was hanging out at Derek’s house, when, between facebook chatting, I came across an ad on a local radio station’s website. The front banner read, “ SEE JOHN MAYER FRONT ROW!” Previously, I thought I had a better chance of my Macbook instantly transforming into solid gold and spitting Gucci handbags out of the CD drive than meeting John Mayer. I frantically clicked the link, wondering how quickly I was going to be able to make the doe eyed, tattooed, blues singing, guitar player my boyfriend. As the page loaded, I discovered the fine print. The lanky singer is featured on the gossip blogs as quite the Casanova, so it was no surprise the contest was advertised as a,“ John Mayer ex-girlfriend look-a-like contest.”

“Caity!” Derek exclaimed. “ You should so enter this!”

girls, please, listen to me.

Eventually, he will stop calling you.

You can beg and plead and insist things "were going perfect", but the truth is that it is inevitable.

I know, I know, it typically blindsides you on an idle Thursday afternoon when you realize that your inbox hasn't been flooded with messages from (who you thought was) Mr. Right. The Friday night invites out begin to dwindle down to random Tuesdays; and there is an unidentified girl in a sorority leaving suspicous comments on his facebook wall.

Without warning, the paranoid cyber-stalking increases and you realize you are incessantly checking your iPhone praying for a text message.

Its inescapable. Its part of the male DNA. I'm constantly trying to shove my theory onto my friends, I promise its valid.

Delete his number, get the ever faithful rebound men of Ben&Jerry, and get back in there.